Prank Letter to Man Utd, Chelsea and Arsenal

July 9, 2007 at 12:03 am 1 comment

Here’s a prank letter that I sent to Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal a few years ago. It is a proposal from a mad scientist who is trying to promote his new invention, a left-footed football. >>>

The Letter

Dear Chief Executive,

I am a football fan who works professionally in the field of physics, and I have devised a method to maximise the spin on a ball when bending a free-kick.

A football spins because of the Magnus Effect. The flow of air is faster on one side of the ball, so the different pushes on either side cause it to curve. I am inventing a unique lining (patent pending) for a standard football. To oversimplify, it reformats the gas-filled micro-cells of a Fevernova-style inner syntactic foam.

When the ball is struck, the shape of the lining generates an internal centrifugal force (more technically, an inertial force experienced in a rotating reference frame acting away from the centre of the rotation), which either enhances or counters the curve generated by the outer Magnus Effect.

By changing the direction of the lining’s internal spin, we can in effect create either a left-footed football or a right-footed football.

The impact is significant enough for top athletes to gain measurable competitive advantage: certainly on the training pitch, until the lining is officially approved for matches. Please let me know if you would like to see my research.

Yours sincerely,

Dr Robert O’Carroll

The Replies

Here are the first replies that I got from the football clubs.

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Entry filed under: Pranks, Sports.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. lozenge  |  July 9, 2007 at 9:58 pm

    that’s genius – i love the oversimplification.
    johnb

    Reply

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A blog by Michael Nugent

Welcome to my blog about living in the maddest country on earth. Please feel free to leave a comment.

I also write Bionic Bohs, a blog about following Bohemians football club in the 1970s.

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Bionic Bohs

As mentioned above, if you like Irish football and/or cultural nostalgia, I also write Bionic Bohs, a blog about following Bohs in the 1970s.

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