Prank Letter to Bishop Pat Buckley

July 20, 2007 at 12:02 am Leave a comment

Here’s a prank letter that I sent to Bishop Pat Buckley, the Larne-based ‘unofficial chaplain’ to disaffected and alienated Catholics. The letter was sent just after the Bishop Casey scandal in the 1990s. >>>

The Letter

Dear Father Buckley,

Congratulations on your forthright defence of truth, and attack on hypocrisy, within the Roman Catholic Church and your razor-sharp willingness to translate conscience into action. Your unsubstantiated allegations of last year that Bishop Casey was not alone among the hierarchy in his foibles caused some hot public flushes in at least two prominent prelates!

However, it is about the intrinsically related moral dilemma of the non-clerical partners in such relationships that I write to you for advice. I am not a priest, yet I have for over eleven years been involved in an ongoing once-every-two-months sexual indiscretion with (not always at the same time) an ex-priest, a prominent Dublin businesswoman, a professional footballer with a penchant for green, and two beautiful nuns who teach in a school attended by a daughter of my cousin.

We each know what we are doing is wrong but, much like the good Bishop of Galway and the other clergy to whom you have refered, we simply cannot help ourselves. We have limited the extent of our sin by refusing to use artificial contraceptives, relying instead on the papally-preferred rhythm and withdrawal methods (which have thankfully – or as we like to joke, miraculously – proved successful so far) .

However, the recent secret visit home of Bishop Casey has reminded us yet again of the very real dangers of pregnancy, and we have decided to turn to your good self for some value-free moral guidance. Should we start to use artificial contraceptives, which are available through record shops in Dublin? Should we continue with the rhythm and withdrawal methods? Or should we simply try to get together less often, or even stop altogether?

Please do not ask us to join the clerical sex-partners group you are forming, as we are not yet ready for such a traumatic step.

Yours sincerely,

John Mackay

The Reply

Here’s the reply that I got from Bishop Buckley.

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Entry filed under: Fun, Pranks.

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A blog by Michael Nugent

Welcome to my blog about living in the maddest country on earth. Please feel free to leave a comment.

I also write Bionic Bohs, a blog about following Bohemians football club in the 1970s.

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Bionic Bohs

As mentioned above, if you like Irish football and/or cultural nostalgia, I also write Bionic Bohs, a blog about following Bohs in the 1970s.

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