Prank Dogbowl Letters 8 – To the IDA

October 31, 2007 at 12:01 am Leave a comment

Dogbowl Ad

It’s been a while since I updated the prank dogbowl letters, so here we go. You may recall that I had enlisted the support of the then Taoiseach, Albert Reynolds, for a daft project to manufacture dogbowls modelled as dinner plates (which nobody seemed to notice was actually just a dinner plate). When the Head of the Small Business Division of the IDA wrote asking to arrange a meeting, I replied with the above proposed advertisement and a letter that included numerous clues to the silliness of the project. Here is the letter: >>>

Letter to the IDA

Dear Mr MacFhionnlaoich,

My apologies for the delay in responding to yours of 23 March; I have been out of the country involving myself in further market research on the dogbowl project. Countries visited: Four (4). Countries with commercial availability of dogfood bowls modelled as plexiglass dinner plates: Zero (0).

Perhaps we should be looking at the possibility of and export-led marketing drive? Or maybe start a small business at home and expand? Whichever, I will be delighted to meet with you. To maximise the benefit extractable from your valuable time, I’ll do the following advance leg-work:

  • Test-feed various size prototypes for different size dogs (Economy Size for the Chihuahua; Master Dish for the Great Dane etc.);
  • Bounce around the idea of ‘add-on’ products (perhaps a joint venture with Beleek or Arklow Pottery, for the discerning dog);
  • Bounce around the idea of ‘novelty’ products (portable dogbowl with attachment for muzzle with air vents for Rottweillers etc.).

I hope you will agree that we must walk before we can bark. Our main focus must remain on the original product – the ‘add-ons’ may be fun, but it’s hard work that pays the rent.

I have also commissioned a sample print advert (enclosed) which I hope captures the flavour of the ‘Unique Selling Point’ of the proposed product. Please let me know where I could find current samples of trade or media adverts for existing dogbowls, here or abroad.

Please also either send me whatever details you can on the current dogbowl (and related products) market in Ireland, or else point me in the right direction and I’ll sniff them out myself.

Yours sincerely,
John Mackay

PS I have let the Taoiseach know that you are now handling the IDA end of the venture. I must stress that both he and I would wish that this viability study be treated strictly on its commercial merits – please feel free to shout ‘Stop!’ if the market dictates. Bottom line.

More Prank Dogbowl Letters

I will publish the reply that I got here in a couple of days.

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Entry filed under: Fun, Ireland, Pranks.

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A blog by Michael Nugent

Welcome to my blog about living in the maddest country on earth. Please feel free to leave a comment.

I also write Bionic Bohs, a blog about following Bohemians football club in the 1970s.

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Bionic Bohs

As mentioned above, if you like Irish football and/or cultural nostalgia, I also write Bionic Bohs, a blog about following Bohs in the 1970s.

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